I began my career in the innermost inner city of America.  The neighborhood where I worked had the highest homicidal rate in the country.  One of my greatest frustrations as a young teacher were the parents who told their children that if someone hit them, they had better be sure to hit back.  In my second year of teaching, 2 of my students got into a fistfight one day.  I promptly called their parents and we all sat down together, the 2 kids and the 2 mothers.  I was brilliant that day.  I modeled conflict resolution, leading the 2 youngsters in problem-solving in front of the parents.  It ended with everyone happy, and everyone knowing that we would go forth triumphant and at peace.

 The next day the boys went at it again.  When I told their mothers at dismissal that day, the 2 mothers started fighting!  Right there in the playground.  One of the larger male teachers had to come break it up.  The next afternoon the mothers did it again.  So much for my brilliance.

 I’ve thought a lot about the concept of turning the other cheek since.  When it applies and when it doesn’t.  My pastor used to say “Jesus said turn the other cheek.  So I will.  But I’ve only got two cheeks.  After that, I’m coming after you.”

If I were assualted on the street, would I do the many things we tell our students to do?  Would I

-Walk away

-Ignore it

-Tell an adult (ie policeman)

-Use humor to diffuse the situation

-Spend time with the attacker

 No way! I would fight back and try and get away.  If I were hit, I would hit back.  If I were kicked I would kick back.  In fact, if I were just simply grabbed, I would be going for the jugular. 

Why should we expect our students to respond more maturely than ourselves? Don’t they feel every bit as violated and threatened as we do?

If it were my kid being harrassed at school, I think I would want them to hit back if they were hit.  As teachers, I think we have to stop blaming victims.  Agressors need to be agressively punished, including the type of kid who pushes buttons over and over again until another child snaps.

 I KNOW that if my kid hit someone, I would hope that they got whalloped back.